| Dec. 8th, 2009 @ 01:59 pm 126 days |
|---|
Current Mood:  annoyed
i know i have a previous post from earlier this year that was also called "126 days" but that was 126 days until i turned 18 and i when i THOUGHT i'd be free. Ryan and i were counting down because not only would i be legal but i would be able to do whatever i wanted; so i thought.
This post is called 126 days for kind of the same reason i guess.. 126 days till i ship out to the air force! 126 days until i begin to see the world, 126 days until i'm officially NOT my mother's. I won't be dependent on her anymore and i will no longer be under her rule! (i think that's the best part about this). So there's 126 days until my life really begins and it's going to be a fantastic journey.
hmm, where do i begin.. i guess i'll just write little snippets of what's going on in my life right now.
though lizanne and i are no longer close i love, love, love my family. when it comes to the whole situation with my mom no one understands me more.
my madrina has become one of my closest friends and it's great to have another mother figure around to run to about things.
both of my gramma's are amazing.. no one could ask for any better.
but my best friend of them all is jennifer lynn rios. she moved to haskell back in august and we've become inseparable ever since.
ryan finally got cleared September 10th and shipped out November 3rd.. but i'm not keeping track or anything lol.. i was there September 10th to take my ASVAB so i saw him... what a coincidence, i think of it as fate :/
yea it was hard getting over him, i cried myself to sleep for months, lost weight and became anti-social once again. I mean it's still hard because i'm not over him but i'll admit it's become loads easier since i don't see him everyday. But the sad thing is i wish i could see him. Francesca thinks i'm crazy because i say things like, "i'd rather him yell at me when he's upset because atleast he'd be acknowledging my existence" or "when i walk into work and see him my day becomes that much brighter. he doesn't have to say a word to me or even look at me just knowing he's around is enough". Yea i guess i'm in love which is why i fear for him to come back.. i'm afraid i'll see him and strong feelings will come rushing back and be fucked once again. i could honestly write about him for hours... and i want to, believe me but it won't help me in the long wrong.. i really don't want a soggy keyboard.
so my mom is a spiteful bitch and because i didn't want to tell my family about me joining the air force the way she had planned for me to, she just told them all on her own. THEN SHE GOES ON HAPPIER THAN EVER LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED. Fucking can't stand that bitch. So i don't tell her shit anymore and keep away from her, she gets the vibe but still wants everything to be okay before i leave. Yeah, well it's far too late for that. She bought me that Miraculous bra from Victoria's Secret. 1. i didn't ask for it and 2. i'm acceptive of my small boobs now so thanks anyway. Oh btw, it was $48. And for Christmas she bought me Lady Gaga tickets. Okay i like Gaga's new song "Bad Romance" but i don't really love the hermaphrodite enough to get $150 tickets at Mohegan Sun (and i have to go to CT with her...) Next she wants to go to Cali for a few days just her and i, she tells everyone it's what i want.. Not so much. So she wants to get matching tattoos out there.. I DON'T WANT TO GET MATCHING TATTOO'S WITH THE DEVIL. Might ass well get 666 tattooed on my forehead.
Gah, i wanna move out but she's making it hard when she's buying me all this shit. Found a place in Clifton for $300 a month, utilities included but Jenn was like, "Why would you pay rent when you could stay with me?!" Yea, living with Jenn, Maurice and the baby would be the life.. they're like my family right now and my mom gets jealous because of all the things i do with them as a family. She thinks i'm a bother to Maurice because he doesn't like anyone on my side of the family. But he likes me! He even said i could move in which means a lot coming from him. He probably likes me because i'm young and my brain can still be molded so i don't become like my family. LOL
I almost forgot. I got my nose pierced in August.. My mom freaked and made me take it out. But i kept it in for 3 months after. She caught me once and beat me with a wooden spoon. Can you say welts on my arms, thighs and butt-ox? Crazy betchhh
Victoria's Secret Bra: $48
Lady Gaga Tickets for you & her: $300
Vacation to California & matching tattoos:$1,900
Your daughter's love: Priceless |
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
biancaxbreakdwn's journal
disappointed
shocked
confused
blah
pensive